Bryan Hong - This and That

Who is this??
An asshole??
Close, but he's my very very distant cousin from mainland China. When I first heard my 11 year old relative was coming down to Malaysia, I pictured him as a cute little boy. I was wrong. He was slightly shorter than me but weighed more than me. Not to mention, he's Chinese-educated so he speaks awesomely bad English. (Manages a few basic phrases though)

He and his mom visited Malaysia last year to attend my other cousin's wedding. For two weeks, he would always hang out in my house starting from noon until 10 at night (He sleeps at another place).
He is VERY annoying. He was glued to my television for long stretches after my brother and I had introduced him a GTA game, preventing us from using the television. He would spend about 4 hours daily chainsawing people all over again, never gets tired of it. Trying not to be rude on his first day, I stayed downstairs watching him playing until I fell asleep.

Proop. I wondered what that sound was, I rubbed the sleepiness off my eye, and I saw him, still in the same position I had left him. He looked at me briefly, smiled and then laughed. He had farted. "Fuck you" I thought.

When it came to the point where I decided he was playing too much, I told him to stop. Well, he still went upstairs and played the PC-version of the game. My brother was foolish enough to let him use.


Engrossed, addicted, obsessed...

He follows me everywhere, imitating my speeches. Kept repeating a stupid phrase I said to him all over again. Barged into my room after I clearly told him not to. Ate too much pizza.... Would not give me space. Bugs me to let him use the computer when I have something more important to do. Broke my PS2. Whenever we went out for lunch or dinner, he would ask for a hamburger and orange juice every time we asked him. No matter what kind of restaurant he was in, he would always order the same thing.

At Chillis,

Waiter : "What would you like to eat sir?"
My cousin : "Hamburger!"
Waiter : "Which one sir?"
My cousin : "Hamburger hamburger!"

My cousin only knows that english word for food.




He's quite big...


Scary...